The Anatomy of a Fall
How dumb was I? Gave away my worth to someone who didn't even take advantage of it.
Only to leave me soulless and empty of gold.
He might walk without a soul — at least he carries diamonds and treasures.
I'm just waiting for this heart to collapse, because that's the only way I could ever forget.
I wish I could be dumb again, but now it requires a courage that even superheroes don't have.
Boldness is so overrated. Courageous people just sink in the ocean. Deep. Too deep.
My lungs were not built to survive underwater.
I've already crushed every record...
How much time is left before I become too heavy for even the barest hope?
I thought fairness existed.
I thought an invisible force was sewing my destiny.
Happy are those who believe in an upper spider!
But silk doesn't resist water pressure anyway.
There's no tragedy.
Only insignificance —
In the sadness of immensity.
I used to dream.
I used to hope.
I used to shout in the name of passion
And move mountains in the name of love.
I used to call for miracles.
I used to fly despite obstacles.
I used to refuse to crumble,
Even though I felt miserable.
I used to proudly carry heavy rocks,
And never lay any of them down.
I used to walk on earth
And reach for the skies.
Now — in a world full of water,
The shore and its sand are the mirage.
What do I deserve?
The roughness of the fall already answer that.
We all carry deep desires,
Entangled wishes,
But my story was a story of almosts.
I somehow was on the verge of falling into the abyss
But I resisted.
My fuel ran dry
And when least expected,
A hurricane rolled in…
He had the beauty of the perfect savior,
The scent of a destined soldier,
And the touch of a guardian angel,
But it was only a joke —
Wrapped up in an inevitable nightmare.
Only fools believe a hurricane will take them on a ride above the ocean
Cradled by immaculate wings...
Alas, I was naive!
Reminiscent of that child inside me
Who never asked for any gifts,
And thought, maybe for once,
She could get just one of her dreams...
Oh dear — dreams don't exist!
And there are no miraculous wings!
Look how your adult heart choked,
Throughout the violence of the impact
And the drowning that followed.
Why should I believe in anything
Now that I stand without a soul?
The clock of the upper spider is
At best, triggering my own annihilation.
Me, the fool who can't swim
Inside the depths of the abyss —
I'm dreadfully drowning,
And no one would ever dare to save me.
I wish someone had taken my hand
I would have never asked for it
But I wish someone had appeared
As a real savior, with a heart that brought
Ingenuousness — and gentleness
I wouldn't have even asked for the strongest one
They could have been broken, desperate and miserable
I only wished for a hand, and a heart
Who wouldn't have needed me to confess
My struggles, my complete loneliness
I wish someone had grabbed my hand
Firmly, while I was still losing grip on the edge
Pulling me closer, right before the end
Or right before the hurricane
I wish someone had truly cared
Enough to give as I always gave
I wish someone had, for me, such love
That they would have broken the road
With just one step
Romance would have assembled for me
An authentic mosaic toward peace and oxygen
I wouldn't even have asked for a steady or eternal place
Only a shelter, a simple cabin
But life isn't a fairytale
And people don't like magic.
I spent too much of my naive life
Searching for truthfulness
— And authenticity
Never giving up
Thinking that the waiting
Would be proportional to the win
Well, the waiting can only get worse
And what doesn't kill you
Makes you cruelly jaded
Will you ever find love?
How do you even find love?
When do we find love?
Are you doing all you can to find love?
Is bullshit
The horrific question is:
Will true love slash its own face
When you meet it?
Monstrosity has different meanings
But spitting on love is the worst of them
Fearing the spider's web of cold numbers
Is a harmful cherry lure — when you'll be cut open
by your lover's blade of trauma, and his promised plea.
I wish I only cared about rings and things
I wish I dug like a nihilist
Foolishness made me climb up the hills
Then whoever came in
Was missioned — to drain my worth
As if this was not enough
My own soul — died through it
Yet, I still have a breath
In the aquarium of death.
Had the wounded knight
Who might have borne me,
Hastened forth to my side —
Would he kiss my soul laid
In the sanguine coffin of woe?
The water cherishes my fading mind
Hopes enraged are intertwined
Beneath the blame smothering unborn love
I fear this marred heart of mine
Would harbor sudden wrath
Along with the depths' aftermath
To choose is to let something go
Not to choose is to lose it all
And I don't have anything to lose
— Anymore
The dark waves are suddenly flickering
Insidiously encroaching and tight
Is my mind finally fading?
Along with my breath soaking down?
My vision seems helpless but lucid
A horrendous stake is approaching
Fishes around me are impaled
Sharks and whales are bleeding
Octopuses are divided into one
I'm unconsciously drowning in ache
Observing the agony of the depths
A shadow is reflected by the sea
The arachnid has reached the abyss
Preparing to hole my heart
The water is fiercely changing
From deep blue to pitch black
I'm sensing a corporeal sound alongside
Abruptly breaking the flesh of the below
Devoured and plucked to a blind mouth
I'm afraid of the waves
I'm afraid of the dark
I'm afraid — though my heart
Lost its time
Praying for the knight